Mitt Romney is caught investing in a fetus disposal business, Arizona is edging closer and closer to a police state, and Ben is upset over an arbitrary rule at a bar.

This week on Page Seven: Jackie and Molly give you everything you want to know about the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise split (contracts abound!), celebrate Adele’s pregnancy, and give you the hot tips on who was gettin’ weird with heroin in 2001.

This week on the Round Table: a man gets mauled by a chimp named Cozy, Russian Roulette takes the life of a Florida teenager, and a Swedish doctor cuts off his wife’s bottom lip and eats it, plus we got Jermaine Fowler, Kelly Fastuca, and Henry Zebrowski joining us.

Comedians Josh Gondelman and Tony Zaret join the nerds to talk about slash fiction and how our standards for entertainment has become impossibly high, plus Tony brings in The Box.

This week on Page 7: Madonna is paranoid of being cloned, Kim Kardashian’s mother proves to be a perv, and our blind items prove Kevin Spacey to be a perv and Jenny McCarthy to have poo-poo problems.

Comedian, actor, and Round Table favorite Jermaine Fowler drops in to discuss drones, stop and frisk, and the first and only time he smoked weed. Roach spray.

On this special live two year anniversary Round Table: Leprechauns are assaulting bar patrons in Seattle, a mother makes a sex tape with her 16 year old son, and an audience Q&A reveals drag preferences, favorite books, and a horrible secret involving a dumpster.

Jackie Zebrowski of CCR’s Page 7 comes in to discuss Obama’s celebrity friends, drones, and why America should get a little more Stalinist.

Jake and Mike discuss their favorite weapons from comic books, movies, and video games.

This week on Page 7: Chris Brown and Drake get into a girly bottle fight, Paula Deen is unsuccessfully trying to distance herself from butter, and Lindsey Lohan gets it in the butt, plus our celebrity list this week: child brides!

Round Table month begins as Ed Larson joins Marcus and Ben to talk about a cursing ban in the midwest, fat, and getting arrested.

This week on the Round Table: British kids are idiots, a man is arrested for having sex with a teddy bear in public for the fourth time, and a smelly kid in Texas finally gets washed. Joining us today: Matt Maragno, Amber Nelson, and Steve Pasieka!